Friday, March 15, 2013

FF: Humpf

Look at that fluff of halo hair... on the baby, not me, lol

Well, remember that goal?  I had only 0.3 pounds to loose.  And I didn't loose them.  This week saw a gain.  And I am not sure why.  Other than to completely annoy me.

Ok, so it was a busy stressful week.  I didn't get much sleep.  Ok, ok.  Stop being hard on my self.

I gained.  Ugh!

I was so good too.

GRRRR!

But this happens.  I know it happens.  It happens all the time.

Deep breath.

When this happens, and believe me, it does happen, it is hard not to get really frustrated, throw caution to the wind and say "Whatever! I am not doing this anymore!"  The thing is, if you have really changed your ways, it isn't that easy.

What we have done is completely change the way we eat and live.  There is no more sitting on the couch every night eating ice cream.  There are no more pb & j's at 8pm.  It just doesn't happen.  And that is not going to change.

For us, there is maybe more incentive to not fall off the wagon.  If every time you even smelled bread you got a pounding headache or a throbbing gut you wouldn't be so quick to fall off that wagon either.  But if you really dedicate yourself to a new way of eating, knowing that the other stuff just isn't good for you, you will be able to see it through even these weeks where it seems like life is poking you hard with a sharp pointy stick.

That is what it means to not be on a diet.  Don't be on a diet.  Diets don't work.  It is a matter for doing research.  Looking at your food choices and deciding how you are going to eat for the rest of your life.

If you say, ok I am not going to eat ice cream again till I loose 20 pounds and you have a gain week... guess what you are going to do?  In defiance and frustration you are going to run to the store and grab the biggest carton of sugar loaded ice cream you can find.  You might even grab two!  And a box of Girl Scout cookies you eat in the car on the way home.

In other words it can't be conditional.

So many people even see it through, loose copious amounts of weight only to put it back on.  I have done this. They tell themselves that as soon as I loose the weight I can eat the way I used to and it will be ok.

It won't be ok.

That is why I think, this time, in loosing weight, I have been far more successful.  Tony and I often sit back and think, well I want to loose this much more, yet, realize that no matter how much more weight we loose it doesn't really matter.

I am not going to stop working out.

I am not going to change the way I eat.

Ever.

If I shrink to be the size the charts say I should be... Cool.  If not, well, ok.  As long as I feel good, strong, and capable I am doing great.

I am healthier than I have been in my whole life.  I am stronger than I have been in my whole life.  I don't want that to ever change.  My only regret is that I didn't realize just how good I would feel doing what I do now years ago!

So on weeks like this one, where I do everything right (not even a mocha from Starbucks -- although I could have really used one, "Cafe Latte, whole milk please") and I gain, I have to remind myself that it is all ok.  I might have packed on some muscle.  I have been working out like a fiend.  Or maybe, well, let's just say, I am a woman and our bodies are more in control than we are.

Our minds are our biggest enemies in reaching whatever goal we set for ourselves.  It is our relationship with our self that is often the very thing that holds us back.  We don't like ourselves, we don't believe we can do it, etc.  That mean little voice that says, "Go ahead and eat that cupcake, you can work it off later," is the same voice that is whispering, "you can't do it anyway."  It is so vitally important to not listen to that voice.  There are voices all around you encouraging you and they usually don't come from within.

The other day at the Y, a sweet woman was sitting next to me on the exercise bikes.  She looked at me and she told me that her husband had left her and she was going to loose weight so she could catch herself a man.  That she was 50 something years old and it was time she stopped sitting on the couch every night eating ice cream.  I told her that coming to the Y was a great start.  And that I had lost 60 pounds (It was more last week *mumble mumble*) since last May.

She almost stopped on her bike and looked right at me.  "How much?  How long?"

I told her again with a smile.  And she said to me, "You don't look like you have been fat a day in your life!"

I could have kissed that woman.  And this was truly a week I needed to hear that.  I still have at least 20 pounds to go before the charts say I am not overweight.  I hate charts.  But to hear that was such lovely motivation to keep working hard.  

There will be bad weeks.  There will be weeks were you feel like you are on top of the world.  Just don't give yourself limitations or rewards that involve making you sick. Listen to those other voices around you, that may not even be speaking directly to you, remember that God speaks to us in a thousand different ways.  Break out your Bible and read Psalm 139.

I praise you, because I am wonderfully made;
wonderful are your works!
My very self you know.

God, who loves you more than anyone could dream of, knows you are capable of anything, after all you are His child.  He knows what greatness you have waiting inside.

Never give up on you goals, even when it seems impossible.

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